Now that school is again starting after a week of "fall" break I thought it high time to up-date. Allot can happen in two weeks time. Some things good, some things bad, nonetheless they are memories and images that stay with us for a lifetime. They are our story, which helps us learn and grow. So what has happened to me this past two weeks you may ask? Fear.
Fear is a very real thing in everybody's life. I will never forget in 5 grade my classmates and I went on a field trip to a rock climbing wall. I had never been on a rock wall like that before and I remember being terrified. My dad happened to be one of the chaperones who, of course insisted that I get harnessed up and ready to face my fear. Half way up the wall I froze, completely panic stricken. I remember looking down at the guy with the rope and saying "I wanna come down" than looking over at my dad who looked at the guy with the rope and told him "She cannot come down until she rings the bell at the top." I felt completely out of control and mad that my dad thought I could make it to the top and live. I, of course protested and cried, until my dad said "Laura Jane the only way you are EVER going to over come ANY fear is to do what you are afraid of." After a few more minutes I took a shaky breathe and put one foot over the other till I could reach and ring the bell. When I got to the bottom I had never been so happy in all my life; and guess what I was never afraid of climbing walls again. Today I climb rock walls in caves with no fear and no harness; I owe it to my dad who pushed me past my fear.
I am greatly blessed to have a dad who has always pushed me past my greatest fears in life. But what do we do when our greatest fears grip our minds, soul, heart, and body? What do we do when all we want to do is curl up in a little "safety" ball and hide out till all that we fear is gone? I am only just now learning how to deal with it fully, and it is a process that I know I need help in and that I know I am only just beginning to grow in. It is a process that I hope to someday master so that fear no longer reigns in my life. There are a few things I do know though that have truly helped me get on the right path.
One thing is I absolutely must learn to give up control. This has always been and probably always will be one of my biggest struggles. I am a firstborn, I am oh so very stubborn, I am a leader, I say what I am thinking, and most of all I like, no scratch that, I love being in control of my life and what is happening around me. If something slips out of my grasp and there is nothing I can do about it, I sink into a pit of fear, which than drags me down till I feel there is no escaping it. What than am I doing to cure myself of this downward spiral?! I am learning to give Jesus Christ control of my life. If I do not trust him with my very life than there is honestly no hope for me at all.
Another thing that I know is good, is facing that fear head on. I ask myself a series of questions. First, why do I feel fear? What is making me fearful? Once I figure out what I am afraid of I put it in my real life situation. What is the worst thing that could happen in this situation? What are the odds of that happening? If they are high am I going to let that fear take over my mind and body or am I going to trust that Jesus loves me and that he has my best interest at heart? Because if I believe that Christ is in control of my life and that he does actually care about and want the best for me than there will be no room for that fear to grow and take hold.
So today am I going to let fear take hold of me and rule my world or am I going to let Christ's love in to take away all fear? It is a daily choice that I know I have to face every single day. And I pray to God that I make the right choice every single day so that I no longer have to live in fear of what is to come or what has happened.
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