Control

One thing that I have learned about myself this past year is that I am a controlling person. And I fully admit it because, I want to change that fact about myself. Not everyone is a controlling person so I will tell you what a controlling person does and why they do it. The controlling person does NOT like to feel out of control or like everything is falling apart. When this starts to happen the controlling person takes matters into his/her own hands. Meaning we will manipulate, actually tell people what they can and cannot do, and once that person thinks that what he thinks is right it is very hard to get him/her to listen or take in counsel that is actually very good.

In a nutshell that's about right. We like balance and if there is no balance we will do the total opposite just to bring balance to that situation. So guess what?! When you do the total opposite of what you think is causing a problem you end up being imbalanced yourself. Here's any example. Pretend we have a scale that is balanced and than all of a sudden somebody puts rocks in one side. What happens? One side goes up the other one goes down right? Ok so now pretend that those rocks are somebodies drama or something you do not agree with. What a controlling person tends to do is freak out that, that person is doing something "imbalanced" so they rush to fix that problem but, in or to fix it that have to meet that extreme with another extreme. Just to "balance" out the relationship or problem.

One thing I have learned recently and throughout the year as well, is that control is an illusion. We cannot control anybody. End of story. Control makes people feel safe and secure. Think about it if everything is in order and the way a person wants it, it makes one feel content and secure. If all of a sudden it happens that something goes awry, (and in life this does happen) controlling people and just people in general tend to freak out. Once we freak out we will try and fix that person or problem. For the past year or two I have been trying and trying to fix my life. Or should I say the people that are in my life.

But as I said before it is all an illusion. So what should we do to stop our lives from being an illusion that ends up destroying us as a person? We let it go! We only take responsibilities that are ours. If a person needs help we can help that person without dragging ourselves down. As long as we are helping that person and NOT making it our obsession. If it is constantly taking up our thoughts and we constantly feel like fixing it. We are probably controlling that person. And if we take a closer look at ourselves it can tend to be a selfish motive that is making us want to "help" that person.

I guess what I am trying to say is that we are human beings who are selfish plain and simple. We want things to be fine and dandy and if someone in our life all of a sudden messes that up we want to jump in and fix that person for our own benefit. So that WE will feel secure and happy again. Lets stop this madness and let go. Let us take upon ourselves our own responsibilities and leave others alone. If that persons choice affects us we need to learn how to be selfless and change with the change. Staying true to yourself if more important that controlling somebodies life, which in the end destroys your. Control is an illusion.