Quetico Thoughts 1

* The next few blogs posts were written while I was in Quetico (a protected wilderness area in Canada). These are the thoughts and observations I made while there with my two brothers and dad. 

Before coming here into this wilderness, I was talking to someone about who we are as people. We swapped observations we had each made about each other. I began to think about who I used to be and who I am today. I was confident going into the middle of nowhere. Confident about my future, about who I am, and about what others see in me. But here I am not even two full days into this trip and I'm sitting here wondering how strong am I really? As I write this I am lying in my one person tent surrounded by things that represent a person. T-shirts with logos that say this person has volunteered, run races, held a job....this person participated in life. A phone that has numbers, pictures, e-mails, and messages....all stating that this person is involved in others lives. Books, pens, a knitting project, and a notebook exclaim that this person has hobbies that play into their deep thinking side. All these representations and none of them matter out here. The t-shirts with their many logos have no point if nobody else is around to see them. A phone has no way to reach out to others if it has no service. Hobbies are no good unless you can share what you've learned and created with others. So here this person sits stripped of everything that makes this persons life a life. When the realization hits that the things we participate in in life are not who we are it can be a hard one to swallow. Because here I am, unable to show others who I am, not many are here. Unable to be apart of anything, I'm in the middle of nowhere. Unable to prove that I even exist, because for the week I don't in civilization. So where does that leave me? Who am I stripped of everything that says I am me? An old ratty stuffed animal, that has clearly been through a lot, sits atop my sleeping bag, representing a past, my past. Some say I'm crazy for still carry around the faded animal, but every time I see him sitting there I'm reminded of how far I've come by the grace of God. And when your reminded of how far you've come you're also reminded of who you are. All the things here show a picture of who I am, they are not my identity. Out here in the middle of nowhere it becomes blatantly clear that everything we do in the real world does not make us who we are it is simply an act of who we are and where we have come from. So yes, even out here, without the ability to join in the activities of everyday life, I am still Laura the strong, thoughtful, and sarcastic woman.