Why Don't You Date?

The question should not be why don't you date, but why are you not dating currently? Or something along those lines. I'm guessing allot of people think something like this. "Ok we have know Laura for quite awhile now she hasn't had a boyfriend yet, she is pretty so I'm sure she gets asked. Why doesn't she date?" Then the question comes, "Laura, why don't you date?" Of course I could say allot about why I don't date but, there is never enough time or the question gets whispered to me during church. I usually say something like "I just haven't found the right guy yet." Or "I am young and have no need to rush things" Or "I have chosen not to date at the moment" The last one sorta makes people frustrated cus, obviously they already figured that one out. But NOW when people ask me "Laura, why don't you date?" I will just tell them to come right here and read all about why I "don't" date.

At every job or sport or any thing done with my peers, I would get asked out once or twice or flirted with but if I said no or never flirted back than two things would happen first the guys would obviously say "Hey that Laura girl is hard to get." So then of course one of them would try really hard to get my attention and get me to go out with them. Let me tell you it was never like a cold hearted "NO" when they asked. Sometimes everything in me wanted to say: "YES! YES! YES!" After that the story would go around that "Laura does not date anybody ever." End of story no more guys asking me out in that place.

So what made me say no? Why didn't I say yes? What is my problem?! I think the easiest way to explain it is to show you my thought process when a guy asks me out. First of all I ask myself a few questions: Where am I going in life? Where are they going in life? Is it worth it if they are going the opposite direction in life? Do I want to live in the moment or save my heart from breaking multiple times before finding the guy that I am going to marry? How is this person going to affect me now and later on in life? Now allot of people would say but what if you passed up you soul mate?! Guess what?! I already have a soul mate for life and I know where He wants me to go in life so if I don't find a guy that has the same or close to the same goal why would I bother? Now this sounds all fine a dandy and you are probably thinking easy for you to say Laura.

Well I would like to clarify right here and now that none of this is honestly that easy to put into practice. It is actually quite difficult. Having to say no to a guy you like is actually a really hard thing to do. I know allot of people feel bad about saying no, so how do I have the heart to say it? As long as from the get go I know that no I will never date this person there is no point; than I need to also not flirt or lead that person on. If they ask me out and I have lead that person on I should feel very badly about saying no. (And I am not perfect, it has happened  before and the toughest thing is apologizing, saying no, and letting it go.) Otherwise I should not feel bad at all about saying no at all. Trust me most of the guys I have said no to got another girl a few months later.

Another thing is I don't ever want to just jump into a relationship. Say I meet a person that does have similar goals, I'm not going to be like: "OH MY GOODNESS, I FOUND YOU!! LETS GO ON A DATE RIGHT NOW!!" Nah not at all. I want to be friends with whoever I am going to end up dating or getting married to in the end. Feelings don't last forever but, friendships can if treated with respect and honor. Also I may meet a guy that is going in the same direction as me but, that does not automatically mean that he is "the one."

So in summary why am I currently not dating? I am not dating because, honestly right now where I am in life I would learn to lean to heavily on the guy and not my creator. Before I am going to even contemplate dating anyone ever is if my relationship with the man who created me, and has held my heart for years and years is in a good place. If I am not fully relying on and trusting Him with my life; than I am not ready. Especially right now when I am going through allot, if I start dating somebody they are going to become my "solid rock" which, is not a healthy thing to do because, we are all human and all humans make mistakes and hurt people. And that is why I "don't" date.